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Fri, Dec. 19th, 2003, 08:39 pm
darksylvia: Attention Labyrinth fanfictioners.

Great News!

No, Labyrinth II is not coming out.

A new fan fiction archive has opened up (thank you so muchkuchenhexe for posting about it). It's small and if we get there quick and entrench, we might be able to keep out for the most part the Mary-Sarahs, the Mary-Sues and the rest of the hideous violations that go on.

The first reviewer in that section has given out some tough love criticism. I am filled with glorious hope for a brighter dawn for this fandom. One that involves spell check, beta-readers for all, stories worth reading, and authors who not only accept, but LIKE good critiques, instead of throwing tantrums over them.

Yes, I may be dreaming. But damn it, there is a chance, however small.

Labyrinth fanfiction needs YOU! *points like the scary old Uncle Sam posters*

Oh, please. I can no longer even venture off of my favorite stories list at FF.net, so painful is the Labyrinth section.

(X-posted on bowie_daily and fanficrants)

And now for a report to further reinforce my point:

Fandom: Labyrinth, though it looks like it would have eventually become crossover-ish too.
Culprit Author's Name: SERRIA23

Full Name (plus titles if any): Lizabeth.
Full Species(es): Fae/ human
Hair Color (include adjectives): Brown.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Lizabeth begged her big brown eyes wide and innocent, her classic puppy dog eyes she knew her father couldn’t turn down."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Apparently it's unusual to have matching eyes. Everyone else seems to have mismatched eyes.

Annoying Origin: A Painful Birth Scene™. I hate it when authors write these and have no idea how they really are. There's a lot of screaming and clenching of the father's hands etc. Too much primetime TV. Oh, and the mother dies.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Meets Jareth and enters into love/hate relationship in first chapter when she's only a one-year-old.
Annoying Special Abilities: Is expertly walking and talking and whining -again- as a one-year-old. Can conjure crystals like "Leo the Goblin King" and manages to shock him over it.
Other Annoying Traits: Changes two-year-old Jareth into a bunny for kicks.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
Leo said as he led her to a huge room he opened the door to reveal two boys both two-years old currently throwing crystals at each other turning each other into animals. Lizabeth conjured up two crystals and threw them at both boys turning them into mice one black and one vanilla colored.

Leo let out a huge laugh but on the inside he was a little shocked no one beside his boys could make crystals. “Turn them back.” Leo said still laughing

Lizabeth did just that. When the boys were normal she saw the dark-haired boy had matching blue gray eyes. While the blond-haired boy had blue/brown eyes. She scrunched up her nose at the blond-haired boy.  She could tell by his stance and the look in his eyes he was an arrogant bastard. The dark-haired boy had a kinder sweeter attitude.

“You have the same colored eyes.” Lizabeth said.

“So do you.” The boy said. Wow she has pretty brown eyes so warm. No, no can’t like girls yet, too young! The boy thought slightly panicked.

Sat, Dec. 20th, 2003 07:53 pm (UTC)

Immensely coherent toddlers, aren't they? Even more remarkable, they're toddlers with hormones. Insert the raising of an eyebrow. (And if the author even dares to use 'fae' as an excuse...)

Sat, Dec. 20th, 2003 08:39 pm (UTC)

I know, that was what I was dreading. I was waiting for the sentence "faes grew up faster than normal children and lived longer...blah blah blah"

She didn't get very far, though. There was only that one barely coherent chapter.

Thu, Feb. 5th, 2004 05:30 am (UTC)

I think the "author" is trying to say that the people all have two different colored eyes because one of Bowie's pupils is bigger then the other due to a school yard brawl, thus giving the appearance of two different colored eyes. It’s a personal affront to me due to my lust for the blue and black eyed Erik (The Phantom.) That and due to that fact, I have made at least two different characters with mismatched eyes. In the end was a stylistic decision (I like the look)on my part, but after reading that now I feel like a moron. Lol.

Thu, Feb. 5th, 2004 06:15 am (UTC)

Yes, I know about Bowie's eyes (being an obnoxiously huge Bowie fan) but so few people in the Labyrinth fanfiction section know. That, or they ignore it on purpose. It usually doesn't bother me until the author writes something like this piece of crap story.

I think differently colored eyes can be pulled off in a story, so good luck. Just not this story.